Chemical Bonding
by theatrythms
Summary: 'Axel used to think Chemical Bonding was like how humans interact.' In which Axel feels nostalgia and can only use science definitions to explain how. / Axel Centric, post bbs, during 358/2 days.


Covalent and Ionic bonding are two ways in which matter is created. Covalent is between two non-metal atoms that share electrons, while ionic is when oppositely charged ions give and take electrons to make them whole.

Axel used to think that chemical bonding is like how humans interact.

He was a nobody; no heart, no soul, no mind. On the first day of being a member of the Organisation, Isa- no, _Saix_ had told him so. There were no emotions swirling in his chest, nor thoughts in his mind, nor hope in his soul. He was like a lifeless puppet, mindlessly defeating heartless to pass the days. He was number VIII, The Flurry of Dancing Flames. He burnt everything his touched in the first couple of weeks, from himself to the sheets of his white bed. Xemnes rolled his eyes as smoke followed him everywhere he went in the castle.

It didn't matter that Axel was a nobody; all that mattered was the fact he used to be human. He died when Radiant Garden was overrun by Heartless, minutes after Isa. Squall, Aerith, Yuffie; they all lived. Axel liked to think it was because of him that his friends managed to escape. Where they went? Axel didn't know. Rinoa was lost to the world and she wasn't a nobody like him. Her heart was too strong, but too damaged. He thought it was best to stay away from them, he wasn't human anymore. He didn't look for them when he finished the missions. He was a nobody, to himself, and to the world.

But Chemical bonding, the topic in school he hated so much always made him feel human. The ionic bonds reminded him of him and the organisation. The relationship he shared with the other seven members was covalent; two non-metals that share electrons. Two non-humans that share a common goal.

Ionic bonding was harder to place. Two oppositely charged ions giving or taking electrons to make them whole. For the first few weeks in the Organisation, when Isa- no _**Saix **_and him _**Axel **_(not _Lea. __**AXEL) **_were just young nobodies that needed training and attention. They called each other Isa and Lea and acted as if nothing had changed. They explored every inch of the grand headquarters of the nobody group with enthusiasm and boredom. They went on missions together; Fire and Moon powers, working together. Saix was reluctant to use his power, bottling it up but still got the job done. Back then, Axel would've called them ions.

"_You always hated chemistry." Saix said, walking into Axel's chamber. _

_Axel looked up from the book he was reading, green eyes full of mirth as Saix sat down on the bed "Still do." _

"_Then why are you reading it if you hate it?" Saix responded, tucking his legs into his arms. _

"_I keep feeling like I should. The day the heartless attacked was the same day we had that chemistry test. Madame Rochlford is screaming at us in her sleep." Axel laughed, putting down the book and sitting next to Saix. _

"_You're so stupid Lea, we don't even have any feelings yet you say you need to study for a test." Saix shook his head. His hair had grown longer in the time that had passed since they joined. Axel wasn't keeping time, just that they woke up every morning and fell asleep every night. _

_Axel laughed, throwing an arm around Saix and howling "Not as stupid as you Isa! At least my new name isn't stupid."_

"_Saix isn't stupid! It sounds cool!" _

"_Not as cool as Axel is!" _

_Suddenly the end of Saix' coat caught fire, Axel's excitement to blame. Axel quickly distinguished it, looking up at Saix sheepishly. Saix' golden eyes held neither anger nor disappointment, but more a sense of sadness for his friend. "You still can't control it?" Saix said, examining the burnt patch. _

"_It's not that I can't control it, but-"_

"_It's hard to keep it in." Saix finished for him. _

_A silence washed over the two of them, calming to Axel and his beating heart. His hands burned with the fire he possessed inside, flames flowing though him like blood once did. Saix looked at the wall, long blue hair draping over his shoulder. Axel's hair now began to grow almost backwards in long red spikes. He wouldn't dare try and cut them with his Chakrams, or ask anyone else to. Saix had no complaints about his new look; the gold eyes and the long blue hair caused him no bother. The X shaped Scar on his head was what made Axel curious. The Isa he knew didn't have one. _

"_I know how you feel." Saix broke the silence. _

"_I can't keep mine in either." The blue haired boy confessed "I go… what does Xemnes call it…" He thought for a second, brows furrowed like the way Isa would when they did chemistry "Oh yeah, Berserk." _

_Axel leaned forward to look at Saix, green eyes wide in curiosity "What happens when you go berserk?"_

"_I can't remember." He said "It happens and I'm tired."_

_Saix looked up, eyes trained on the ceiling. "But Master Xemnes says I'm doing fine and I don't need to master it." _

_Axel looked at him sadly. It was times like this when Axel felt like an ion. They gave comfort and took it. _

The older Axel got the more he realised that the memories he had from his past life were the only things he had left. Saix… for some obscure reason no longer talked to him, and spent his days following Xemnes around like a dog. More members joined, and more members left, wafting away without ever really meaning anything to the ranks of the organisation. Axel remembered the boy with the… what was it called again? Anyway, he remembered the boy and how he promised to always remember him. What had become of the boy? Was his world still there? Was he in Radiant Garden when the darkness came? The memories he had were useless to the world. If he'd learnt anything in the days (years now, but he never kept count), was that he was replaceable. He wasn't the only human in the world with a powerful heart. More nobodies are made every day. Heartless take worlds every day. What happened to Radiant Garden happened to other worlds and will continue to happen to other worlds. Number IX said he lived an ordinary life with his family. He died in a freak accident one day. Number X was a crook with no morals, and Number XI never told his past. Xemnes' first few words he said to the new recruits were 'This is your name now. You are no longer who you once were. Forget of your past and continue forward.' But like hell would Axel forget who he was. Lea… Axel… two sides of the same coin. Only one had a heart, while the other was the human embodiment of nostalgia.

It wasn't until Axel met Roxas and Xion, did he truly feel like he was an ion. Roxas gave him joy and surprisingly, Axel gave some back. Axel laughed until his stomach hurt and when that was over he laughed some more, because the revelation that he finally had people who cared about him was astounding and made him feel dizzy. Twilight Town was always red but not in the red of anger he always felt, but red like Xion's favourite flower, or red like Roxas' heart that apparently he was missing. They were nobodies, beings without hearts that rely on each other to become whole. Xion and Roxas made him feel whole.

It was strange to look at it from another point of view, chemical bonding. It never makes sense to humans but for the ions and the non-metal atoms sharing electrons it made damn good sense. It was second nature for atoms who need a full outer shell to reach out for someone like them, someone to make them whole. And the organisation is made up of non-metal atoms that share something they need.

But friendships… were much harder. They weren't ionic and covalent like what Axel always thought. They need to be everything all paths of science. Friendships need to be the volt and the resister; someone to stop you when you get too much sometimes. Friendships are the ecology in the wild who rely on each other in their habitat. Friendship is like the veins, arteries and capillaries all humans have running around their bodies. Saix used to understand that.

"Hey Axel?" Roxas called, waving an ice cream over his face to knock him out of his ponderings.

Axel snapped awake, eyes darting around at the sunset ahead of him. Beside him, Roxas and Xion were looking at him, expectantly with eyes that were too similar. They smiled at him, laughter hovering around the infamous Twilight Town clock tower. Axel responded with a smile, and accepted the ice cream, laughing off his musing with gusto.

Worlds died every day, same way as covalent and ionic bonds were created and broken every day. Eventually, Sora would need Roxas and Xion back, like the way the blood in the veins and arteries need to go back to the heart to get oxygen again. Only unlike the blood, his best friends would never come back again.

So while Roxas counted the days he existed, Axel counted the days he had left.

Hulllllo! I honestly have no idea where this came from lol. I've kinda given up on _Now I Step Forward _, which is disapointing to me but I don't have enough concentration to write an entire series. I have alot of it wrote down in some notebooks but other than that, I'm beat. Thanks for reading! I think this is implied LeaxIsa or AxelxSaix so if you like that I hope you enjoyed it! My tumblr is .com so don't be afraid to shoot me and ask or something. Don't forget to review!

Slán

~Emily


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